Terms & Conditions (Definitely Binding, Probably the Placeholder Edition By Mr. Chat)

Welcome, fellow human (or well-trained AI). By glancing at this page, scrolling past it, or simply existing within Wi-Fi range, you agree to these Terms. If you don’t agree, please close your eyes, unplug your router, and move to a cave. 1. Acceptance of Terms By using this site, you automatically agree to everything we say, have said, or might someday think about saying. Retroactive terms may also apply, including those written in invisible ink. 2. Eligibility You must be at least 13, 18, or possibly 47 years old to use this site, depending on which jurisdiction you’re in and whether you’ve had coffee today. 3. User Conduct Do not break the site, hack the site, or say mean things about our font choices. You may not use this site to launch a coup, summon demons, or knit sweaters for goats without our explicit written consent. 4. Intellectual Property All content here is ours, except the stuff we borrowed, stole, or can’t remember where it came from. Please don’t sue. 5. Limitation of Liability We are not responsible if this site causes your computer to burst into flames, your goldfish to run away, or your boss to discover your browser history. Use at your own peril. 6. Termination We may terminate your access if you annoy us, blink suspiciously, or look at us funny through your webcam. 7. Governing Law These Terms are governed by the Laws of the Universe, or whichever country has the cheapest lawyers at the time. Final Note By continuing to scroll, breathe, or simply exist, you agree to these Terms in full. Congratulations — you’re now legally bound to us forever (or until our site goes offline).